Do Better, Be Better

Originally published on May 1, 2019, but it remains 100% relevant today, especially as a peer.

Today’s morning thought:

It’s not enough to – want – to do better. Most people – want – to do better. I used to tell people I – wanted – to better. I would have an interaction, and then I would have an epiphany (or someone would shove one in my face hole).

I would apologize, even PROMISE to do better, and then within weeks even days, I’d be back to old behaviors. Old behaviors are easy. They’re comfortable. They’re painless and smooth

You have to BE better. You have to actually change your behavior.

And wow, that’s hard. It hurts, not just because you’re retraining your brain, but because as you do, you discover all the hurt and pain you’ve caused in the past to people who you either didn’t care about, didn’t know, or didn’t recognize.

Epiphanies mean nothing if you don’t act on them. Wanting is great as a motivator. You have to DO it.


Like What You Like, Leave Other People Alone

Originally published on November 27, 2017.

Folks, the man-cave vs study meme is bullshit, and designed to divide us and make some of us look down on others of us.

No photo description available.

Here’s a news-flash: you can like doing sports, watching sports, playing fantasy sports, and coaching sports and still be a smart, contemplative, compassionate, reasonable human being. The interior decorating in your house has got fuck all to do with it.

Having a man-cave doesn’t make you a light-beer-swilling, fat, Trump voter, and having a fine-wood trimmed library with multiple leather-upholstered armchairs doesn’t make you a scotch-drinking, progressive liberal. Also, having a man-cave doesn’t make you a better american, and having a library doesn’t make you a pansy.

Look at that picture. Which one do you think the Koch brothers have in their houses? How about Hillary Clinton?

I love sports. Baseball is my main gig, but I love watching hockey, and I used to follow football as well. I love sports movies. I love playing catch with my kids. I loved coaching little league. And in my “man-cave” I have a shit-ton of Cubs paraphernalia. Also in my man-cave? A bunch of Star Wars toys, a collectible die-cast Voltron, a metric ton of sci-fi books by people as diverse as Heinlein and Elizabeth Bear, the Illiad, the Odyssey, Shakespeare, my Bloom County collection, and a bunch of poetry and songs I wrote myself.

Don’t let yourself think you’re better than anyone else because of what you do for fun. For decades, nerds were made fun of. We were bullied and pushed around, and now, a decade into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, in a world where there’s a Wonder Woman movie AND a Black Panther movie, we aren’t the little guy anymore.

So remember what that used to be like, and don’t fuckin’ do it to other people.