You Don’t Owe Them

Originally published May 8, 2019, but re-posted here today.

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My friends: this is one of the best things I’ve seen on any social media platform. We ALL would benefit from this. ESPECIALLY ME. So I will try to do it if you will try as well!

We all move through life in the middle of a blob. As we do, people enter our blob. Most of them pass right out of the blob in a few minutes. Sometimes they hang out in the blob for a while. And sometimes, they stay forever.

The people who stay in your blob are our lasting relationships. But not all relationships are good, even if that person stays in your blob for a really long time. So if you’ve got someone in your blob you don’t like, you don’t have to interact with them! Maybe you can get them to leave your blob, maybe you don’t, but YOU DO NOT OWE THEM ANYTHING.

And the thing you owe them the least is residence in your head. Sure, you can’t stop them from talking bout again YOU DO NOT OWE THEM ANYTHING — especially your attention.

If they’re not someone who’s opinion you respect enough to ask for it? They’re not someone who’s unsolicited opinion you need to listen to. Give ’em the boot! Banish them to the fringes of your blob! It’s YOUR blob, not theirs!

Happy blobbing, friends!

(h/t Davius for the meme and inspiration)


I love this song. I don’t understand a word of it, but it completely speaks to me. A big part of why I don’t record is that I’m a big believer in the whole “wall of sound” concept, and well, when I’m on my own, my wall of sound is more like a chain-link fence.

This is what it means to be a bard. Giving people the feelings that I get listening to this, that’s what I want to do. I’ve been told I’ve achieved it a few times, but it is the goal, every performance.

Showcase: The Court Barony of Sophie the Orange

Sophie the Orange.  I mean, what can I say about Sophie the Orange?   She’s a force of nature.  She’s stands up for justice.  She’s mindful and introspective.  She’s funny.  She’s awesome.  And it was a loss for the MidRealm when she left to live in Atlantia.

So I was overjoyed to discover that William and Isolde wanted to give her something for that awesomeness, both at the SCA 50 Year Event, where she took a really difficult job and made it look easy, and in her tireless support of Commedia across the Known World.

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Showcase: The Red Company/Gold Mace of Dirk Edward of Frisia

The second of the three scroll texts I wrote for NOWM was one that was near and dear to William and Isolde’s heart.  Dirk has been a force on the field in Combat Archery for many years, and they wanted to recognize his great leadership in a big way.
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Showcase: The Evergreen of Brenden o Corraidha

Now that there were heirs, things really began kicking into high gear.  And nowhere was that more apparent than at Northern Oaken War Maneuvers, or as we liked to call it, “Court: The Event!”  SEVENTY AWARDS were given at NOWM, in one of FOUR COURTS held during the day:

Morning, Field, Evening, and Silent.

That’s over 17 awards per court.  There are whole events that don’t have that many awards!  In fact, NOWM was the event with the most awards.  Pennsic had between 45-55, and Baroness Wars had around 60 total.
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Showcase: Writing Scroll Texts and Other Things – The Scroll Text for Ulrich

Earlier this week, I reviewed the boast for Ulrich’s elevation to Chivalry.  Today, we’ll talk about his scroll text.

I structured it to parallel the Oath of Knighthood, which calls upon Knights to be Prow, to be Reverent and Generous, Shield of the Weak, Obedient to his Liege Lord, Foremost in battle, Courteous at all times, and Champion of the Right and the good.  These are fundamental concepts of Knighthood all across the SCA — but since Ulrich is a Viking half-dane, it needed to fit within a viking epic style.   Because Ulrich was one of Ragvnaldr’s King’s Champion during the last reign, I also worked to tie some of the imagery in with the Lineage of Ragnvaldr I wrote several years ago.

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Showcase: Writing Scroll Texts and Other Things – The Boast for Ulrich

I first met Ulrich the Half-dane when he was on Ragnvaldr’s King’s Champion’s team, during Ragnvaldr & Arabella’s third reign.  Ragnvaldr called him his Space Marine.  He has since become a good friend, and I have written other scrolls and ceremonies for him, including when he recently became the second Baron of Shadowed Stars.

Ulrich was the fourth person put on vigil for William and Isolde’s reign, and the first to be put on vigil for Chivalry.  We had almost a month to prepare, and Ulrich had some very specific desires in his ceremony.  The first was a Viking-style boast, based off his persona story.

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Showcase: Writing Scroll Texts and Other Things – Saraswati mân Ikkam’s Evergreen

THL Saraswati is a wonderful scribe doing absolutely amazing work.  When I found out that she was going to be inducted into the Order of the Evergreen, first I said “Wait, she doesn’t have an Evergreen?”, and then I said “oooh, I’ma write this for her!”

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Showcase: Writing Scroll Texts and Other Things – Siobhan an Einigh’s Purple Fret

Siobhan an Einigh moved to the MidRealm from Calontir a few years ago, and in Ayreton, she fits right in.  She does ALL THE THINGS — just ask her how many offices she’s currently holding, AND she’s the about-to-step-down Regional A&S Champion.  She basically got her Purple Fret for “all the service”.

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