Late Night Thoughts

Originally published April 27, 2019.

Last night Laura and I had a spat. I got pulled into dealing with something hobby-related that I thought wasn’t necessary, and I was irritatedly dealing with it on my computer, which is upstairs in the little loft we have outside our bedroom. I have a clacky keyboard, and the noise bothered her, and when she asked me if I was going to be loud all night, I was brusque and put her off. She closed the door, clearly unhappy, and I felt (and was) the fool, and I brooded.

But later, when I got into bed, I was thinking about us, and our life, and how we’ve overcome so much to keep making our marriage better, and how important it is to me that we keep doing that. And I was thinking about how some friends of mine are going to a wedding a week from tomorrow, and, then I thought about when Laura and I got married back in 2008.

I do a lot of age related math in my head – when you’re an older parent of little kids, you often think about how old you’ll be when they graduate from high school (Charlie 59, Ben 61) – and I realized something. Our eleventh anniversary was a few weeks ago and I’m 48. That means our 50th wedding anniversary is in 39 years, when I’ll be 87.

I totally plan to live forever, but just in case I’m wrong about the nanotech AI singularity offering me immortality and vast multidimensional power, my general expectation is to make it to 90. 90 is a good round number, and I’ve got a pretty good chance of living that long.

So then I realized, of course, that 87 is less than 90, so if I have a good chance of living to 90, I have a good chance to get to be married to Laura for at least 50 years.

And so I went to bed happy, because the prospect of 50+ years with the right person is a darn good reason to be happy. And if for some reason it’s not 50 years, well, I’ll be happy for the time I got anyway.

Laura makes me want to strive to be a better person. And when the best possible outcome of being a better person is getting to have all this time with her, it’s easy.

Love you, Jibba Groo

This has been Late Night Thoughts with Dwer.